Category Archives: Personal Development

Grow Up

Some very good advice from Jim Wendler.

Mason Darrow didn’t choose to be gay and I can’t imagine the stress of telling his teammates. But I can assure you that if his teammates didn’t get on his case about him being gay, he would have been alone in that locker room.  There is a difference between hate and busting balls.  This has been understood by high school kids, in locker rooms, for decades.  Somehow this has been lost by those too busy to police the world than to mind their own goddamn business.

I think a lot of people would be happier, and they would find more success, if they quit worrying about other people and started worrying about themselves.  Live your life, focus on getting yourself the best you can be.  Let other people worry about themselves.


Wise Question

As I hope anyone reading knows, I’m a real estate agent in Baltimore.  I had the opportunity to work with a new client yesterday who is in the market to buy.

One of the great things about this career choice is that I get the opportunity work with interesting, fun, and diverse people; anyone in a relationship business understands this.  I so appreciate these chances to meet people.

So my client yesterday told me something that I found really profound.  She said a friend once asked this question of her:  “If you could tell people how old you are based on your perception, what would you tell them?”

My client answered her (with a much lower number than her actual age), after which her friend simply said:  “Then act that way.”

I’m 43 years old.  But my perception of myself, how I feel, how I can perform, is younger – more like 33.  So I’m going to act that way.  I’m going to act like I’ve got 60 years to go,  I’m going to act like I have 30-35 more years that I’m going to work.  I’m going to act like I can lift like a 33 year old, not a 43 year old.  Age is not an excuse.

That conversation was worth more to me than the commission check I’ll earn.


Happy New Year

I hope 2014 brings you happiness and health, and maybe a little prosperity, too.

It’s a big year for us, we have a lot of self-imposed business pressure on us this year (we need to increase our sales by 50% to really meet our goals).  We also need to find our balance again.  The primary reason I got out of the corporate world and in to Real Estate was the ability to take control of my life, but I really didn’t take any more than a day off in a row until just this last week.

I always have powerlifting goals and usually don’t achieve them.  This year, I don’t really have specific goals (at least not yet).  I don’t really have any resolutions, but I am making a commitment to giving everything I do 100% effort.  Both with business, lifting, and even with relationships, I often mail it in instead of doing my best.  I can get away with that most of the time, but if I give 100% to what I’m doing at that moment, I will achieve far more.  That doesn’t mean I need to give 100% all the time on whatever I need to do, but 100% on what I am doing.  If I don’t have enough for work, I’ll give 100% to cleaning the kitchen, or give 100% to watching football.

It’s going to be a great year.


Teach Something

I’m taking a few minutes to catch up on some online reading, and came across this gem from the Angry Coach at EliteFTS.

In other words, don’t just tell me I have to manage my time effectively. I’ve bought your book or clicked on your article because I want to hear how you, the guy who supposedly knows how to do it better than me, manage your time. Do you wear a watch? Do you have an alarm clock, or do you use the one on your phone? What kind of phone do you have? What do you use it for? Do you keep a calendar? If so, is it a written datebook? Or do you use an online service like Google Calendar? If so, which one do you use, and how do you use it? Do you color code things? If so, what colors do you use, and for what categories?

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. Several years ago, when I was transitioning out of non-desk job into a career that required me to sit in an office all day, I wanted to know how successful people set up their offices and their desks. I wanted to see what kinds of computers they used, where they put their keyboards and monitors, what kinds of pens they used, and where on their desks they put them. I wanted to see what type of lighting they preferred, and I wanted to see how organized they were, what types of filing systems they used, and where they put stuff. I wanted to know everything about the office logistics of successful people.

This is so true, and so very frustrating.  There are hundreds of self-help, productivity, and time management blogs and sites out there, all posting exactly the same things:

  • Get up early
  • Use Google Calendar
  • Use Evernote
  • Hustle!

They post lists, and they post tools, and they post photos of their awesome desks with nothing on them but their Apple computers.  But the majority of them never say how.  They never say why.


Any thoughts on good resources?  Who does this well, in any field?

One Reason

If you ever wondered why I left the corporate world, this post explains it.

Each of these people got handed a turkey, and some money, along with instructions on how to somehow improve it, promote it or otherwise dress it up. Alas, no one had the guts and the leverage to say, “stop.”

Basting the turkey might sound like your job description, but ultimately, we’re known by the projects we get involved in. Saying “no” or even “stop” is the hallmark of the professional you want on your team.

In my corporate world, saying ‘stop’ if you weren’t the person designated as the gatekeeper was forbidden.  I know, because I did it.  We were going to activate a market to install and service a brand new piece of equipment (if you recall who I worked for and what I did, you might be able to figure out what it was).  The requirement to activate a market was 40 scheduled or committed placements.  We had 1, and it was a customer test location.  I said stop.  I got told in no uncertain terms to shut up.

Eventually they listened (they are  a successful company, nonetheless), but I don’t think that helped earn me many new fans.

I don’t have talent, I have tenacity

This is worth 7 minutes.

I used to talk to Rollins online about lifting (we were members of a couple of bulletin boards), and he took the same approach there, too.  Show up every day, work hard, because that’s how you control your future.

Via Dave Tate.

Want Success?

There’s something successful people, in whatever pursuit have in common.  They decide, then they do.  They don’t decide and then half ass, they don’t decide and then come up with excuses.

Everything, every activity, every thought is focused on the thing.

I came across this post from Rob the Bouncer today, and was reminded of just how this works.  (If you are not familiar with Rob Fitzgerald, you should be.)

During that conversation, which took place in April 2011, Chris told me he’d only given up his original plans—he has a masters degree in education and was coaching wrestling at Hofstra University—because he intended to become the UFC middleweight champion.

With most guys, I hear things like this and think, “Okay, dude. Good luck with that.” With Chris, however, there was something about the way he said it. I’ve been around sports my whole life—including boxing and MMA—and this wasn’t delusional positive self-talk or empty shit-talking. The guy had a plan, and doing what he’s about to do tomorrow night was part of it.

He gave up his CAREER.  He and his wife lived with his parents.  All in pursuit of the thing.  The people he beats?  They didn’t work as hard, or want it as much as he did.

The same is true for all of us, whatever the thing may be.  Want to lose 20 pounds?  If every decision you make starts with ‘will this help me lose 20 pounds?” and you stick to the plan, you will do it.  Want to make more money?  Want to get promoted?  Want to have a better relationship?  Want to bench 400 pounds?  Want to take your life back?  They all require the same approach.

And if you don’t get what you say you want?  You didn’t really want it.  You are responsible.


You can be a victim, or you can be a fighter

Watch this.

Three lessons:

The 18 year old who forgives her friend

The college that honors its commitment

No quit.

Eric Ripert on building a timeless brand

From Inc. magazine, this is worth a read.

The best meal I’ve ever had in a restaurant was at Le Bernardin.  Everything was right.


How to Manage Your Debt

A helpful document from the Federal Government.

Presented without comment.

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